Advertisers should learn what noises animals make

I don’t sleep well. I was about to take the plunge and try a fancy, expensive bed, but then an ad for that bed ticked me off so badly that I’ve decided to toss and turn rather than give that company any of my money.

Those 3 a.m. alarm clock buzzes on hunting mornings are getting harder and harder to answer. Not because I’m losing interest in hunting, but because I just don’t sleep very well anymore. I’m not sure if it’s age, my poor shape, or my mattress, or possibly some combination of all the above. I’ve been working out again, but there’s not a lot I can do about my age. The only other thing I can change is my bed.

After reading up on all the bed choices out there, I started thinking I might want to try a Sleep Number bed. It’s a scary thought, because those beds are pretty expensive. But this crummy sleep is starting to threaten my hunting opportunities, so I was just about to pull the trigger on one of these fancy mattresses.

But then I saw an ad for Sleep Number beds that changed my mind. I’m not about to give that company one single cent of my hard-earned money. They haven’t come out in favor of gun control or announced they kick puppies in their spare time. It wasn’t that egregious, but anyone who respects elk has probably had the same reaction I did to their latest ad.

In the ad, the announcer is talking about an adjustment the bed can make when your partner starts snoring. To make their point, they show a bull elk starting to bugle. But the sound they play isn’t an elk bugling. It’s a cow. Not a cow elk, but a tame, what’s-for-dinner beef cow.

If you’re considering a Sleep Number bed, I suggest you hold off on your purchase, too. Write the company, make some phone calls, and post on their Facebook page. As elk hunters, we can’t allow this breech to go unchallenged. It’s just not right. Check out my blog at TyStockton.com if you want to be as offended by this gaffe as I am. Careful, though, it’s not for the faint of heart.

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