The perfect redneck weekend
Every once in a while, you just have to have an all-out redneck weekend. Shoot some guns, tear through the mud, and blow some stuff up.
I finally had the redneck weekend I’ve been needing for a long time. It all started out with some four-wheeling. Granted, that part of the weekend wasn’t by choice. To get anywhere from my house, for the time being, I have to put the truck in four-high, hit the gas, and do a little praying. If the puddle in the driveway gets any deeper, I’m going to have to put a snorkel on the truck.
Once I got home on Friday, though, I figured I’d just stay put until I absolutely had to leave again. That wasn’t much of a problem, because there’s plenty to do at my place, especially if you’re up for a little redneck fun.
The first thing I did to stave off cabin fever was to load my trusty .22 rifle and check the woodpile for rabbits. It didn’t take long to scare one up, and two more popped out a few minutes later. Skinning and cleaning those rabbits killed a little more time, and so did building three stretching boards to tack the hides to.
But before I can stretch those pelts out, I had to soak them in salt water. That’ll make the hides soft and pliable, and after they’ve soaked for a few days, I’ll tack them up to stretch.
But that wasn’t quite enough redneck for me, so I sharpened most of my knives. My wife needed some help on a project she was working on, so I brought one of those freshly sharpened knives over to help her out. I promptly slashed deep into my left thumb, thereby ratcheting up the redneck level. And in keeping with the theme of the weekend, instead of going in for stitches, I superglued that sucker.
I capped off the redneck weekend with a little target practice. I mixed up some .22 Tannerite targets and tacked them to some particle board. Judging from the splinters left of the particle board, the .22 version of Tannerite is no less Tanneritelike. Hunting, four-wheeling, and blowing stuff up certainly made for a great redneck weekend.