All I want for Christmas is the perfect hunting rig

With Christmas nearly upon us, I’d like to give the truck companies my ultimate hunting rig wish list. Maybe one of them will finally build it.

I think most of the auto manufacturers are missing a heck of a niche. The big three have quite a few vehicles that do well in the woods, but nothing that’s designed specifically for hunting.

That’s why I’m asking for the perfect hunting vehicle for Christmas this year. I don’t mean I want them to give me one, though I certainly wouldn’t turn it down. I just think they should consider putting a model together that would be exactly what every hunter is looking for.

Unfortunately, I don’t think one size fits all. I think there would need to be at least two styles. One mid-size one and one big one.

Both would have to be pickup styles, though. But instead of having open beds, they’d need to come standard with removable camper shells. The cargo area should be coated with a spray-in bed liner to make cleaning it out easy.

Behind the back seat, it should have a built-in gun safe. Nothing cheap, but a real, honest-to-goodness safe. Global positioning should be standard, and it should be something you can take out of the dashboard and clip onto your backpack strap for a trek through the woods.

It should have independent suspension all the way around to take the punishment out of those rugged backcountry roads, and it would need an electronically disconnectable sway bar. And it ought to have a heavy-duty winch as standard equipment.

The exterior should come in a variety of camo patterns, and for goodness sake, leave off the chrome. You don’t want the geese to flare when a glint of sunlight reflects off your bumper, no matter how far away from the blind you park.

As a final touch, the seats should be leather for easy cleaning, and they should all have seat warmers. And a heated steering wheel would be a must, as well. That may seem sort of sissified, but there’s nothing better after a cold morning in the duck blind than sitting down on a heated seat and wrapping your cold hands around a warm steering wheel.