Snakes aren’t my favorite running companions

A friend I know from the gym listens to this show probably more than I do, and he often has suggestions for how I can be more successful in my hunting and fishing endeavors. Last week, he gave me some fitness advice.

There’s a guy who works out at the same gym I go to, and since we’re both outdoors enthusiasts, we often talk about outdoor adventures between exercises. He also listens to this show, so he knows how inept I am as both a hunter and a fisherman. Sometimes he has good advice for me.

He doesn’t run – he just lifts weights. He often sees me on the treadmill, sweating through my shirt and looking miserable. He always waves, then he laughs and shakes his head. Last week, after I got done running, he waved me over to where he was, and he told me I should do my running where I won’t make other gym visitors nervous. Between my sweating – I sweat playing cards, let alone running – and the horrible expression that’s always on my face, he’s probably right. I’m sure everyone thinks I’m going to stroke out at any moment.

He said he heard me talking about my backyard shooting range, and he said I should set up a running track in the pasture, too. That way, I could run where I could make all the pained faces I want, and nobody would call 9-1-1.

The thing is, I used to have a running course. But then my mower blew up, so I haven’t been able to get it set up again. I’m not about to go running through that tall grass, because I hate snakes. I need to be able to see them from 20 yards out, so that I can immediately turn around and go home. If one surprises me in that tall grass, I’ll for sure need someone to call 9-1-1, because my heart will stop. Immediately.

So until I get a mower back out there to retrim that running course, the folks at the gym are just going to have to deal with my horrible expressions.